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Post by Cordelia Thatcher on Jul 1, 2015 18:57:07 GMT -5
"Most girls consider having swear words hurled their way every three words as 'yelling', James," she replied with a scoff, rolling her eyes at him. He seriously had no clue how to treat females, and that was absolutely frustrating to her. Not that it mattered. Why did she care how he treated her anyway? Tomorrow morning, she would wake up and leave him in the care of Professor Auttenberg. They wouldn't have to talk anymore just like before, and she could get back to a sense of normalcy.
Her back was to him when she felt a pillow and a blanket come flying against it, but she was too stubborn to use it. She was too upset with him to give in and make use of the articles, so she simply bent her arm at the elbow and rested her head on it as a human pillow - not the most comfortable thing - before closing her eyes. She needed to rest and to get out of this place. This chaotic, ruined, and completely deflowered place. There was no innocence in the school anymore, and all she wanted was to escape to alternate reality - even if only for a few hours.
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Post by James Novak on Jul 1, 2015 19:54:46 GMT -5
Dip... Dip...Dip...
The sound of dipping water... The sound of dripping water made him jump and struggle to get away from it, but then there was pain in his shoulder. He couldn't catch his breath at all, the feeling of drowning coming back and he was gasping for air again.
Dip, dip, dip
"Look at me you coward!" A female voice scream and he closed his eyes tight. Maureen... How the fuck could he hurt her! He really is a monster isn't he?
"No I can't I'm sorry, I don't want to hurt you..." James swallowed hard and finally opened his eyes. There she was looking at him so scared and he didn't say anything to stop it... He tried to go along with it even.
"You're a fucking monster..." But get wasn't trying to be... He just didn't know what to do anymore with himself, he just was trying to get by and...
Dip, dip Dip...
Dipping water, flesh burning, needed digging into his skin and then all his scars being re open, the smell of his own blood making him sick.
River pulling him up to his feet, his father looking right at him with that look of disappointment and pity. "Emilio there is nothing you can do. You are a disappointment... Always have been and always will be."
"Well important sorry I can't hurt anyone... I'm sorry I want to have some morals..."
"You're a fucking monster James..."
"No I'm not!"
Dip dip dip...
It felt like everything was collapsing in around him. All the faces of the people he had hurt and disappointed, their voices all wrapping around himnl. Combining together and driiving him mad. His hands covered his ears and he collapse onto his knees.
"I'm sorry... Just go away please.. Please"
James gasped for air as he sit up, unable to breath as he placed his hand over his chest trying to calm himself down. Unaware of the fact that he had actually scream, his eyes frantically looked over the space he was in. He wasn't back in that Dark room with River, he was in his bed, Delia still curled up by the door. He closed his eyes and sighed, there were tears rolling down his checks as he fell back into bed and inhaled sharply again.
Great he was really crying now. Like crying in a way he hasn't done since he was a little boy. Talk about a great way to strip you of any pride you haversion left and he really hoped Delia would not walk up.
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Post by Cordelia Thatcher on Jul 1, 2015 21:31:42 GMT -5
Truthfully, Delia hadn't slept a wink. Every time she closed her eyes, she watched Professor Reid's lifeless body drop to the floor of the dining hall. Even the appearance of both Maureen and James haunted her, so she found sleep to be a hopeless cause. So, while James slumbered, she maintained her position in front of the door and focused on her senses - making sure nothing seemed out of place. She jumped at nearly every creak of the floor, and each opening and closing of doors on the various surrounding floors nearly caused her heart to stop.
Everything was dead silent, and she finally began to feel relaxed again until she heard a scream emit from James' throat. Terror struck her, and she quickly clambered to her feet and rushed to his side. He was sweating, his chest was rising and falling at an alarmingly rapid rate, and he was crying. What the...
"James!" She shrieked, sitting on the side of the bed beside him and leaning over him. He was going to have a panic attack - or worse - if he didn't calm down, so she cupped his face with her hands and began to rub the pads of her thumbs over his temples in slow, soothing patterns. "Hey, hey, hey," she began, adjusting his head so that he was looking at her. "It's okay, it's okay. I'm right here. You're in your bed. It was just a nightmare," she told him gently, a look of genuine worry in her eyes. "Breathe, okay? Can you do that for me?"
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Post by James Novak on Jul 1, 2015 22:22:52 GMT -5
Fuck he did wake her, and this was the last state he wanted anyone to see him in. It was the moment like these when he felt the weakest and pulled away from people more than he normally does. And it was the first time he had anyone try and actually try and comfort him after nightmare... And part of him wanted to tell her off, to go away because he didn't want any support or help. The other part, and the part that was winning right now, wanted her to stay more than anything. Wanted to like... hug her or something, seek some form of comfort from the girl.In the end he found a happy medium, letting her cup his cheeks as he closed his eyes and focus on his breathing. "Yeah I can..." He said softly looking and exhale.
Fucking hell this was terrible. He pushed himself up some, wincing as he did so before wiping at his cheeks. Breathing, focus on his breathing. That did help for the most part, he stopped crying at least but he was still sweating like crazy and shaking. Fuck there wasn't much he could do to stop the shaking. "I um... I am sorry if I woke you up." Great not he felt bad, like actually felt bad. But he supposed this is what happens when you have every last bit of pride stripped away, you act and feel like a normal fucking human being.
A few moments of silence hung between them before he looked down and said. "You were right about me... about everything." James swallowed, shocked that he was about to tell her all of this. "I am a monster, have been since the day I was born. I tortured my first victim when I was eight, killed when I was ten... And now... Now I tortured a poor innocent girl who did nothing wrong because my father told me too. And I couldn't go through with it, so now I am a monster and I am weak and... Of course being weak and not enough of a monster lands with me getting tortured by my fucking cousin and it like a fucking can't win with anyone." And great there were tears again, which he was quick to wip away but still tears, and fuck in front of Delia. Well this sucked, but he supposed it couldn't get any worst. She just saw him at his fucking lowest point there was nothing left to hide. "I can't Delia, I have to be a monster if I don't want to get my ass handed to me by my father, but if I;m not I just end up hurting everyone I might have a shot at some real happiness with."
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Post by Cordelia Thatcher on Jul 2, 2015 23:15:36 GMT -5
Good, his breathing was growing steadier by the moment. Her thumbs continued to rub at his temples soothingly, and she found herself trying to hum some sort of soothing tune to him that was more than likely completely off key. Still, he seemed to be relaxing now, so that was exactly what he needed. "You didn't wake me," she promised with a shake of her head. "I... Well, I haven't been to sleep at all," she said with a small yawn that proved her tiredness. Bags were beginning to form beneath her eyes, but they were the least of her worries at the moment. "Couldn't let go of my paranoia long enough to lose consciousness, so I just sort of kept watch for a while."
He started to sit up, which caused Delia to frown a bit. "Don't-" She stopped herself from speaking - figuring arguing right now wasn't the best idea for them - and let out a heavy sigh. "Be careful, alright? Don't move too much if you can help it."
What came next, though, was something she didn't expect. Suddenly, the boy she had called a monster and who had put her through so much in such a short time frame was spilling his heart to her? Very strange situation, but she wasn't about to turn a blind eye to his problems. She was a good listener, and she really did a good job of consoling people for the most part - Aqua's specialty - whenever they needed a shoulder to cry on. Of course James wouldn't know that given their history, but even so, she couldn't turn her back on someone in need. The only problem? She had no experience with the problems he was experiencing...
She was speechless with no idea how to console such a broken boy from such a broken home. His cousin had tortured him? Because of his father's orders? This was complete insanity, and she felt her heart begin to crumble in her chest because of the horrific story time. What could she say? There wasn't anything she could do to help him, but she had to do something! "James, I..." Nothing was coming to her. She was a blank canvas - a deer in headlights, even. "Hey, look at me," she said as she scooted further onto the bed and a bit closer to where he was. Again her hands were on his cheeks - only knowing how to use physical contact at the moment - and she was looking straight into his eyes. "I don't know how to help you with this, and I won't lie to you and tell you that I do. But, if you'll let me, I... I can be there for you. Just to vent to, and we can try to figure something out for you.. I don't know. I'm probably not helping but-" She cut herself off once again and lowered her arms to behind his neck, where she pulled him into a tight, comforting hug.
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Post by James Novak on Jul 3, 2015 0:54:02 GMT -5
When she mention that she hadn't been sleeping he sort of frown and he knew if he hadn't had been so... harsh with her her earlier then maybe... He shook his head and bit on his lip. It wasn't just his fault she was just as stubborn as he was, just as willing to fit so it wasn't his fault. Or well it wasn't just his fault.It was mostly his fault which was better than being all his fault. Her thumb ran against his temple and he sighed some and closed his eyes. Goddamnit...
"It's okay I'm fine..." He said softly sitting up a bit more as he nodded at her words. "Yeah don't worry I'm fine." He just felt weird with her sitting over him like this so as much as it did hurt to move right now he sucked it up just for this moment. Just so he could be a little more at eye level and not feel so... small. Small and weak...
Well... he didn't expect that to happen. It was like he had started to talk and then he just couldn't stop. Every secret he had been holding onto for the last eight years just came pouring out all at once. He just looked at Delia with this almost blank look, the empty hollow expression of someone who had next to nothing left. And he felt so bad because clearly she had no idea to handle what to say. Because it's not something that you hear oh... ever in your life time. He kept his eyes down and ran his hand over his cheeks some, he did have to keep focusing on his breathing otherwise he would be freaking out again. Breaking down sobbing if he didn't keep focusing on keeping it all under control. "And you know..." He mumbled softly not even sure if she could make out his voice at this point because it was all chalked full of tears and pain. "You know what the worst part is? Come tomorrow morning I have to walk into his class and act like everything is fucking okay. Because no one can know who I am after what just happen... If they did... god I don't want to know what people would do if they did."
And now every focusing on his breathing didn't help, he was back to hyperventilating, sweating and more tears. He really couldn't remember the last time he cried this hard. When was the last time he worried this much about just getting up and out of bed in the morning. He started to slowly pull away from Delia touched when...
"Hey, look at me,
Her voice stopped him from moving away and he swallowed some as his eyes finally met hers and he was greeted with soft words he didn't expecting coming from Delia and then he was pulled into a hug. Like a real hug that was meant to be comforting and... and it was. Fuck it had been years since someone had ever hugged him or just touched him in a way that wasn't harmful to his well being, and as he pressed head into her shoulder he let out a few more broken sobs before swallowing and saying. "I... I don't know what to say. Thank you for starters. Because you don't own me anything and I... I was terrible to you." He inhaled and shook his head as he pulled back from the hug and sighed some, "And I'm sorry... I am so sorry. About this, about everything."
Well that was draining, emotional crippling and he wanted to go back to sleep really badly. But he didn't want to go back to sleep because if he did there would just be another nightmare and they would be doing this song and dance again and he couldn't believe he was about to ask this of Delia but... but.. "Can you just.. Can you just not go back to sitting by the door. It's better having you closer..."
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Post by Cordelia Thatcher on Jul 5, 2015 13:56:11 GMT -5
Delia's ears were focused on his words, listening intently to each and every word which was subconsciously analyzed to try and better the situation. All she wanted to do was help, but how could you help something you knew absolutely nothing about? Without the ability to empathize with him over the subject, she began to feel more and more like she was drowning within herself. Never had she not been able to help someone in need - never - with comforting words and soft touches, but here she was feeling completely useless as this boy in front of her poured his heart out to her.
He mentioned people not needing to know who he was, and that caused her eyebrow to raise peculiarly. The Headmaster told the students that Maureen White's last name wasn't actually "White." Instead, he said her last name was "O'Brien" and asked if any of the other O'Briens in the room would like to step up and claim her. Samuel Smythe had stepped up, signalling to her that his last name must be false as well, and Professor Reid... She didn't even want to think back to him at the moment. "Know who you are?" She blurted out accidentally, but she couldn't just leave it at that. "What do you mean?" The Headmaster had also mentioned the O'Briens hurting his family, so... James was related to Pietro, River, and the Headmaster? Okay, but what was this about not knowing who he was?
Thank God he didn't push her away when she hugged him or worse. Him getting pissed off at her in his already emotional state was just something she did not have on her agenda for the day. But as he rested his head against her shoulder and began to sob, her heart weeped with him. What in the world had this kid been through? "Shhh, you don't have to say anything," she told him softly, hugging a little tighter. He began to thank her for helping, but he didn't need to. It didn't matter who was in a tight spot, she was always willing to lend a helping hand if she was able, but when he began to apologize, she felt her heart truly begin to wrench in her chest. "No, no, no," she said with a shake of her head, feeling her own eyes well up a bit but not overflow. "None of that. Because if I cry too, we're both screwed," she said as she pulled away lightly, offering him a soft smile.
Goodness, she was tired, and she knew that he had to be as well. And this whole touching thing probably wasn't working very well with James' personality, so she slowly dropped her hands from him and cleared her throat before standing once more. She smoothed out the skirt of her uniform and looked back towards the door. "Well, I'll just be, uh... Watching the door, so let me know if you need-"
Can you just.. Can you just not go back to sitting by the door. It's better having you closer..."
Oh... He wanted her to stay. Wait, he wanted her to stay? Well, that was an interesting turn of events that she certainly hadn't expected. She tried to wipe the shock from her face as she looked over at him, nodding slowly in response. Did he just want her to sit on the bed next to him? Did he want another hug? Did he want her to lay with him? Or did he want something more? Oh, she hoped he didn't want more than any of those things, but she stepped back towards the bed and sat down on its side. "Yeah, I can do that," she told him as she lifted a hand to his chest and slowly began to press him backwards. "But you seriously need to sleep. That's what's going to heal you before anything else. But I'll stay here while you sleep. I promise."
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Post by James Novak on Jul 5, 2015 16:12:29 GMT -5
And he said too much. God fucking damnit, why did he go and open his mouth? He just had to trust her and now he going to tell her something that was going to ruin whatever it is they were forming in this moment. Because there was this trust between them now as odd as it was and he didn't want to ruin that. This was the first sort of okay thing he has had in his life in a very long time and he was risking ruining that with the following sentence. "My names isn't James Novak... It's Emilio Antonucchi, and um the Headmaster might be my father." He said biting on his lip hard because he ficking hated thinking about this with a passion. He hasn't been that person for years and he wasn't him anymore. "And since I doubt my family are in everyone's good books right now I really can't have anyone knowing. Especially since I'm the fucking biggest disappointment in the family right now."
There wasn't much left for him to say after that, she was smart enough to piece everything together with the final bit of information he had given her. He was still sort of in a state of shock that he had just told her all that, he was trusting in a girl who hated his no more than a few hours ago not to tell anymore some of his more closely kept secrets. So as she pulled away and told him not to apologize he just nodded and sort of rubbed his arms. She was right of course, having them both this upset wouldn't do them any good. So he didn't say anything more, just tried to hide a yawn as he rubbed his eyes. Fuck he could fall asleep sitting here, but not quite yet because Delia had stood back up and he swallowed. Fuck how does he say this without sounding like a fucking girl.
Oh wait it was too fucking late for that. He had spent the last fucking five hours acting like a goddamn girl.
Her hand moved onto his chest to push him back down and he complied, but he took hold of her hand again and looked away for a second. "Well I was hoping you lay down next to me or something. You need some rest too, you look like you might fall asleep sitting up. And between you and me you are too pretty to be looking all tired like that."
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Post by Cordelia Thatcher on Jul 5, 2015 16:50:23 GMT -5
Emilio Antonucchi? So, this was some sort of strange battle between the Antonucchi and the O'Brien families? Why in the world were they fighting anyway? Why did it matter? These were questions that Delia probably ought not ponder, but she figured in time she would probably find out the answers to at least a couple of them. "Emilio..." She said quietly to herself as she tried to process exactly what he was telling her. The Headmaster was his father, and since he referred to the Holland professors as his nephews, she concluded that they were James' cousins. And, according to James, it was one of his cousins who did this to him. Is that why Professor River Holland was so bloodied when he came in? The thought chilled her to the bone and made her stomach churn. "This is all so confusing, but I think I've got it," she sighed out, shaking her head a bit.
Delia felt relief when James didn't fight her on lying back and slowly exhaled through her nostrils. She ran a hand through her hair and looked up at the ceiling for a moment as she tried to collect herself. However, feeling his hand take hers, she flicked her gaze back to him and swallowed thickly. He wanted her to lay with him? Why did that make her so nervous yet feel so comfortable at the same time? There was some sort of overwhelming safeness that came with the idea of sharing the bed with him even in his current state. In the pit of her stomach, she just somehow knew that he wouldn't let anything happen to her.
"I can do that," she said with a nod. He was right about her being exhausted from the events of the night and not having slept at all yet when it was nearing sunrise. Her eyes were glazed over in drowsiness, but as he referred to her as being too pretty to look as tired as she did, her cheeks set aflame with a fiery redness. "Oh, um, thank you.." Goodness, she was an awkward mess. Flirting and boys were still a new and foreign concept to her, so she very carefully laid down on her side - facing him - and wiggled underneath the blanket. "Better?" She asked, not even realizing she had yet to let go of his hand.
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Post by James Novak on Jul 5, 2015 17:55:15 GMT -5
He cringed some as she called him Emilio and shook his head. "Yeah but... stick to James because it's not as cringey." Because fuck he really hated that name. He wasn't Emilio, he was James and he just didn't want to be now as Emilio even. James already had a bad enough reputation, Emilio would probably be even worst. She thought she got it and he couldn't help but smile a little bit. "Yeah I know it's confusing, believe me I didn't really understand everything myself until I was about ten." It was always confusing to him when he was younger why he had to use a different name and why he couldn't act like River and Pietro were his cousin and why he couldn't see his mom... But he did figure it out after a while.
He didn't make eye contact with her during the moment after he had asked her to lie down next to him, knowing that she would probably say no because it was a stupid fucking thing to ask and he hated himself for it. But it was very rare he found anything comforting in his life and this, and she, was something comforting. There was something safe and inviting about having her close and he didn't know how else to explain it other than that. And he didn't know why. Because after everything he did to this girl the last thing she should feel is safe around him, and she shouldn't trust himself to be anywhere near her. But at the end of the day, he would never let anyone ever touch her. He would never let anything happen to her and that was that.
But she said she would and he shifted over some to make room for her as she climbed into the bed, her cheeks all red after he had called her pretty and he couldn't help but think that she looked downright adorable blushing like that. "Yeah don't mention it..." Normally he always knew exactly what to say to a girl but she was totally different and he never had any idea what would set her off or what would get her to act all shy like this. She was on her side facing him as she asked if this was better and he nodded before very gently placing his arm around her and tugging her in a bit more so her head could rest on his chest. "Yeah much better. Now get some rest." He said with a small smile before exhaling and closing his own eyes. "Night Delia."
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