Aedan O'Brien
Fuego Student - Year 7
one for your tummy, one for your cheek, one for the devil inside of me
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Post by Aedan O'Brien on Jun 19, 2015 3:12:12 GMT -5
Samuel sighed and rubbed a hand over his eyes. What time was it? One. It was one o'clock in the morning and he'd finally finished his essay. Probably shouldn't have spent so much time pretending for Hallie that he'd finished all of his own schoolwork and had plenty of time to talk through hers. Ah, well ... it was all about the long game, wasn't it? Lay the foundations, build the trust, then have his way. So what if he had to spend the best party hours over his parchment? He'd get what he wanted out of her in the long run.
Samuel always got what he wanted, even if he had to work for it.
Well, this particular work was finished, and now he desperately needed a smoke. Or several. Sleeves rolled up, tie discarded, shoes on and he was ready to wander the grounds in the perfect midnight hours. Leaving a trail of smoke behind him, he wandered down toward the lake, then around its shores, and finally over to the Quidditch pitch. It was a great place to watch the stars move; the stands provided the stable points necessary to appreciate the constellations creeping across the sky.
Usually, there was no one out here in the middle of the night, but tonight was clearly different. There was someone standing on the grass in the middle of the pitch, a pale figure bathed in moonlight. As he approached, the form became gradually clearer. It was Miss Atkinson, wasn't it? Communing with the dead, no doubt. He didn't really have any reason to talk to her.
Except ... no. No, he did, because he'd recently felt a strange sort of compassion for her. They'd been mutual butts of the same pathetic joke, and for a moment he'd felt as though they were the same, somehow.
But that was silly, wasn't it? That was a silly thing to talk about. He had no need to ingratiate himself with her.
On the other hand, it wasn't as though there were any people around to see them speaking to each other.
"Hello," he said as he drew near to where she was standing. "You're out late, Miss Atkinson."
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Post by Annabel-Lee Atkinson on Jun 19, 2015 3:34:02 GMT -5
"What did you like most about being alive?" She asked the young girl who stood next to her as the two looked up at the moon. The girl was a stark contrast to her, with long black hair and skin like coffee. Big brown eyes that would at one point have been so full of life and promise but were now tired and just wishing she could be free of all her earthly ties. So Annabel did what she always did, just talk to her. Talk until she figure out why she was still here and then talk some more until she realized she could let go... Because her reward was waiting. She had endured life, suffered greatly and now she could be free.
Oh I don't know... I think I like hearing my mother singing voice most. Does your mother sing to you? The girl asked and Annabel smiled some.
"No but she reads alot of poems to me. I was named after a girl in a poem you know. It was many years ago in a kingdom by the sea..." Annabel said closing her eyes as her voice trailed off and she could almost hear her mothers soft warm voice. So beautiful... How much she missed her in moments like this. "She a very sweet woman, was your mother sweet too?"
Yes, she loved to sing and make pie and would tuck me into bed every night after saying prayers with me.
"Is that why you don't want to leave?" The other girl looked at her as if Annabel had told her the secret of eternal life. Just as Annabel was about to reach out and take the girls hand to help her cross because now she might be ready the moment was broken by a voice and she jumped. Her heart skipped a beat when who should be standing there and speaking to here but Samuel Smythe. She looked back over and realized the girl was gone, her poor spirit was scared away and Annabel frowned some before looking back over at Samuel.
"Oh hello... sorry I was... nevermind." She said folding her arms across her chest and looking down some. "I know but I couldn't sleep. Too many thoughts a voices keeping me up. What are you doing out here so late?" She asked head titled some as she felt this odd mix of compassion and curiosity coming off of him. Huh odd...
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Aedan O'Brien
Fuego Student - Year 7
one for your tummy, one for your cheek, one for the devil inside of me
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Post by Aedan O'Brien on Jun 19, 2015 4:02:13 GMT -5
"You were ... talking to someone? I suppose? A spirit?" Yes, he'd been listening that day by the lake. They were spirits, not ghosts. He'd gathered that much. "Well, I'm sorry to interrupt. I just finished my homework, and I like to smoke and walk before I go to sleep, and then I saw you and, well ... "
Oh, no, wait. What was he doing? This was silly and absurd. He didn't feel their sameness anymore, not at all. He could remember feeling it, but the moment had fled. For several seconds, he watched the wisps of his smoke make their way upward to the stars. He shouldn't have followed such a foolish impulse, but now he would just look like an idiot if he didn't carry it through to the end.
Samuel swallowed hard. He wasn't used to saying things that were this honest.
"I was just thinking about the other day, and how that boy spoke so dismissively to you in front of everyone else, and I thought it was really unfair. It just made me uncomfortable, I suppose. And I didn't make it clear at the time, but I wasn't angry only because he insulted me. He insulted you, too. I know it isn't my business, but I just don't think that it is appropriate to publicly mock people in such a fashion."
Well. That was awkward.
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Post by Annabel-Lee Atkinson on Jun 19, 2015 4:23:40 GMT -5
She smiled softly and nodded. "Her name is Maggie. She died just over that hill there about sixty years. She was killed so she's been stuck here all this time poor thing." Annabel shook her head and tried to keep her smile up. She didn't want him to know that he did maybe stopped her from finally crossing over, she will find Maggie tomorrow she was so close, so ready to go and find her mother on the other side. If only she could see them reunite. It would be magical but no she was still stuck in the land of the living for now. She hadn't suffered enough yet to get her reward even if she had scars literally her body which physically proved it.
"I'm sorry you probably don't want to hear about the silly thing I see... I'll leave you too it the-" She was cut off but his words about the little joke Eymr made that she didn't even pick up was a joke until he pointed it out. But it was just Eymr and he didn't mean anything by it but clearly Samuel didn't think so and was he... was he sticking up for her? That was a knew one. Because most people were more than happy to call her crazy and walk away. Oh he felt so bad that Emyr said that about her... why how sweet.
"Samuel don't worry about it I know Eymrs he didn't mean anything by it he's just silly. But thank you, it means alot that you were thinking of my feelings. Sometimes I even forget to think of my own feeling I get so wrapped up in everyone else's. Like you don't have to feel awkward right now, it's only the two of us and I'm going to try not to make things awkward... though I probably just failed because there I go reading all your feelings again. I'm sorry." She said honestly feeling bad that she did it again and pointed it out.
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Aedan O'Brien
Fuego Student - Year 7
one for your tummy, one for your cheek, one for the devil inside of me
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Post by Aedan O'Brien on Jun 19, 2015 5:58:39 GMT -5
"She was killed? Someone murdered her? And you ... you can help her be at peace?"
Oh, this was confusing, but it was interesting, too. Maybe he'd grown up or something, become more mature. Yes, that made sense. He was interested in something that had previously only repelled him because he was getting older and ... wiser? Perhaps?
Samuel nodded as Annabel explained her perspective on the incident with Emyr. All right, maybe he hadn't had cruel intentions. Still ... it had been terribly ungentlemanly. "Well, it's good to hear that you weren't as offended by his behavior as I was. I suppose I do take offense rather easily."
Oh ... wait a minute. She could read emotions, too? Samuel hadn't picked up on that little detail! So was she basically a lie detector? That was not good. Oh, and now he felt the slightest measure of panic, and she would be able to read that, and then ... oh, what had he gotten himself into?
Once again, he found himself swallowing hard past the brand-new lump in his throat. "You ... can do that, too? But it's not, you know, mind-reading or something, correct?"
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Post by Annabel-Lee Atkinson on Jun 19, 2015 15:30:00 GMT -5
Annabel frown and nodded. "Sadly yes... She was killed by her father. Her mother was too. And while her mother was able to find salvation she was stuck here. But it was her time, she had suffered now she must collect her reward." His curiosity was growing. That warmth bloomed in her own chest as it did in his with each word she spoke and he wanted to know more about this life she lead. That was nice. She liked how curiosity felt in other people, it meant their minds were becoming open to things that they otherwise wouldn't have seen before. They grow and growing is one of the most beautiful things a human can do.
She shook her head and smiled some. "Not at all, he's rather nice once you get to know him. A little strange but you know a little strange is good. Don't worry about him. And I suppose if I picked up on any malicious intent I would have as well but I didn't so it was all good." You know this was the last person she was expecting to have this conversation with but you know... this was good. She liked this alot
Confused. He was confused about what her gift really was. But she was more than happy to clarify. But now there was panic... Why was he so tense and worried suddenly. Why did his stomach twist with nerves and fear? "No not like mind reading. How do I explain this... when you feel happy I feel that you are happy. If you are sad, I can feel that too. I cannot read your mind but sometimes based on the conversation we are having and how you are feeling I can piece things together. Like sometimes I can tell when people are lying... But sometimes I am wrong."
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Aedan O'Brien
Fuego Student - Year 7
one for your tummy, one for your cheek, one for the devil inside of me
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Post by Aedan O'Brien on Jun 21, 2015 19:37:53 GMT -5
Samuel furrowed his brow. "What would cause a child not to find salvation after her death? It would seem to me that the mother had far more opportunity to sin than the daughter. What causes a spirit to become trapped? I fail to understand this." He realized that he had let his cigarette go out, so he lit it with a snap of his fingers: a handy little trick that had been far too difficult to perfect.
If a young and innocent girl had been trapped in this realm, doomed to wander, lacking salvation, then what would happen to Samuel someday? When he'd lived out his years of violence and dishonesty and abuse? Such considerations would not turn him from his path, of course, but it seemed intelligent to gain perspective on what he could expect afterwards.
Samuel only shrugged at the continued discussion of Emyr. He didn't understand the other boy's motivation, and he didn't much care to. After all, such people were beneath his concern, unworthy of his time. All he had really wanted - for whatever strange, probably delusional reason - was to ensure that Annabel knew that he felt she had been wronged.
Foolish, though, abominably so, because here she was telling him that she could, in fact, detect falsehoods. Taking a deep breath, Samuel focused on calming himself. Perhaps he could trick the system? He was rather accustomed to keeping his emotions under tight rein ... unless he was angered ...
"How can you tell which emotions belong to you, when you are swimming in a sea of everyone else's?" It seemed a good place to start gathering data.
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Post by Annabel-Lee Atkinson on Jun 21, 2015 21:25:18 GMT -5
"Well she thought she had a reason to still be on this earth. A purpose and something she needed to do before she could leave. Her mother had nothing left and therefore was free you transcend." She inhaled some when Samuel spoke of sin and she almost always had trouble putting it into words. "If I am being honest... I don't believe one can sin so bad they are forever doomed to suffer. I feel like Sin was something created by man as a way to punish us in this world and the next. I have met a spirit or two that wants to repent their sins before leaving, and I have talked to them for a long while before they come to terms and let whatever flawed mark they think they casted into this world go." She said with a soft smile and a sigh. This topic wasn't sitting well with him, but death rarely did with people seeing as it was so quick and so final.
But it was nice that he was concerned about her for whatever reasons she might have. That was different though. Most people could care less if she felt wrong because she was crazy. She was the ghost girl who would rather be with the dead than the living... No one cared how she felt, then again she couldn't really tell what her own feelings were half the time.
He started to calm down but there was still something off about the way he was feeling that was unsettling in her stomach as he ask her how she tol her own feelings from everyone else's and she shrugged. "I guess I don't..." She said looking up at the moon and smiling softly. "But I like it that way. I never have to worry about dealing with my own feelings. Just helping other get through their own." Her eyes feel back onto Samuel as she titled her head and said. "Like you... Why are you trying to hind everything you think and feel? Are you scared people won't like you if they knew the real you?"
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Aedan O'Brien
Fuego Student - Year 7
one for your tummy, one for your cheek, one for the devil inside of me
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Post by Aedan O'Brien on Jun 24, 2015 3:51:14 GMT -5
What a fascinating idea. Sin ... not real. Wandering spirits only wandered because they were trapped by their own beliefs, their own fears. How very freeing. Mental control - something that had been drilled into him starting at an early age - could keep him from being punished after his death. The only punishments were the ones he inflicted upon himself.
Another excellent reason not to feel guilt. Samuel filed it away with all the others.
"How sad to think that these spirits get stuck merely because they believe themselves sinful. But I will admit, I prefer it to the notion of an angry God passing out judgments left and right. It's ... empowering, really."
She answered his question about her own feelings, and then - "Are you scared people won't like you if they know the real you?"
The most important thing in this situation was not to lie.
Samuel amused himself for a moment with a French inhale, looking contemplatively up at the stars. "No, it isn't fear, Annabel. I know for a fact that people wouldn't like me if they knew the real me. So I keep the ugliness inside, and the ... complicated childhood ... and the anger. Because, really, I am not nearly as nice as I pretend to be. And, in the end, I don't mind it. I don't feel the need to let those parts of me show."
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Post by Annabel-Lee Atkinson on Jun 24, 2015 15:46:54 GMT -5
"I know..." She said with a small frown looking up at the sky again. "But people are like that, I don't believe in guilt myself. Life is to short to have guilt about the mistakes you make. And it binds you to the moral plane even more than you need to be." She said looking back at Samuel and adding. "Just remember that death is your reward for having endured suffering in life. It's freeing..."
He mention how he loved to think of god as someone malicious, someone that commandant the damn and she shook her head. "God is and he isn't, he is darkness and light, benevolent and just and malicious and spiteful. God embodies the best and worst of man and what we want to transcend to when we leave this life and enter the next. Just like the world god isn't black and white, he is a million shades of grey." At least she hoped that's how it was. Her father would peach the same thing Samuel was saying, God was a punisher but she never saw that. His world was both beautiful and evil... no one who is just a punisher would also create beautiful things for humans to enjoy.
Then he answered her next question, he's not as nice as he come across. Is that want she was feeling locked away, hidden deep in the darkest parts of his soul? Anger and Hate? So much hate towards others that he had never even met... It frighten her some because what happens when all that hate is released from it's bottle. It cannot stay locked up forever. She nodded some and gave a small smile before saying. "You be shocked how much people lock away. So much anger and pained bottled up in the depth of your soul. Does it hurt?" She asked wondering what it really felt for the person who kept everything locked away. "Because I can feel the anger in the pit of my stomach, and it hurts, but do you feel it?"
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Aedan O'Brien
Fuego Student - Year 7
one for your tummy, one for your cheek, one for the devil inside of me
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Post by Aedan O'Brien on Jun 25, 2015 18:27:52 GMT -5
"I don't believe in guilt, either. I prefer to think through my actions before taking them, rather than regret them afterward." After all, everything was part of the greater plan. Every action served his path, his destiny. Of course he thought them all through. He would be a fool not to.
"Thank you, Annabel. Your views on God are enlightening, as are your views on guilt. Perhaps we have more in common than I realized."
Well, clearly they did. It sparked an interesting idea, one that Samuel would have to pursue later. After all, he couldn't have her reading into his plan, could he? Or her possible part in it ...
She could feel his anger and hatred, and it hurt her stomach. That was ... odd. Was that how he was supposed to feel about it? He took another drag on his cigarette, watching the cherry creep ever closer to his fingers.
"I do feel it, yes, but it doesn't hurt. On the contrary, it gives me power. Purpose. It keeps me from feeling afraid. You see, when people come at me expecting me to be frightened, I surprise them. I do not cower. I simply hurt them, because I have that powerful rage boiling away in the pit of my stomach. I do not fear other people; they fear me. Ergo I am safe."
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Post by Annabel-Lee Atkinson on Jun 25, 2015 19:51:09 GMT -5
"Exactly! I which more people would do that. Then there would be less souls trapped here." She said taking a step back from him and looking over him before biting her lip.
"Can you tell him I'm here? Please..."
He lost someone dear to him... And she wanted her to speak for her to him. She had only had this happen a few times before and normally it freaked people out when she started to ask question about their dead loved ones and she looked down rubbing her hand together before inhaling.
Maybe later she could mention it later, for right now he was thanking her for her views on God, sin and guilt. And she she nodded and smiled... "Of course and maybe we do. Then again I believe you can find something in common if you look hard enough." She said smiling. It was nice to think that he saw something in her that reminded him of himself. She always liked when people took the time to understand her, it made her feel like she was somewhat normal for a moment.
When he explained why he kept his anger and hate looked up, and that it didn't hurt it just made her powerful. She bit on her lip some and looked down. That was a little bit of a scary thought and it didn't sit well with her. He scared people and she took a step back as she nodded. Clearly she wasn't meant for all this power, but he was. Huh odd. To be so young and know that you will be powerful and great and needing people to fear you. What a toll that must take on one's Sanity.
"Can you tell him I'm here? Please..."
Annabel sighed and rubbed her arm. Well she wasn't going to leave him alone until she asked so she might as well. "Did you lose your mother?"
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Aedan O'Brien
Fuego Student - Year 7
one for your tummy, one for your cheek, one for the devil inside of me
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Post by Aedan O'Brien on Jun 25, 2015 20:42:53 GMT -5
She took a step away from him; he had frightened her. Samuel supposed that was to be expected. After all, he hadn't lied to her, and most people found his true nature rather unsettling. It was a comfort to know that she was intelligent and had a sense of self-preservation. If she were to become a part of his plan, then she would need those qualities. So, even though it amused him to see her increase the distance between them, Samuel didn't press. It would be unproductive to toy with her, to see how far he could push this fear. Instead, he stayed exactly where he was, dropped his cigarette butt, and ground it out under his heel.
And then ... "Did you lose your mother?" ... and he snapped to attention, his gaze meeting Annabel's, his eyebrows drawing together, and his heart suddenly quickening its pace. Mother ... Mommy ... after all, he had only been ten years old when he'd lost her. But he didn't think of her often, no, that would be weakness and Samuel Smythe was not weak. Only -
She stroked his hair as he cuddled up next to her on the couch. "How were your lessons today?" she asked, and he giggled with childish excitement and told her about his bow and arrow, speaking with pride of the bird he'd shot in the forest with Daddy. As a child, he hadn't understood why all the lessons were necessary - weapons and political history, later magical dueling and flying - but he knew that he enjoyed them.
Daddy always told him that he had a big, important future. He had a destiny.
"Oh, sweetheart," Mommy sighed as she ran a hand across her own brow. "Did you pray for the bird like Mommy taught you? Did you thank God for your food and thank the beautiful bird for its sacrifice?"
He frowned and shook his head. "No, Mommy ... I forgot."
She laughed her tinkling, melodic, joyous laugh. "Well, then, let's do it now, together. Oh my dear, sweet boy, you must never forget to give thanks for all the wonderful luxuries and gifts God has granted you. You must never forget to walk respectfully in the world, or you may bring harm upon yourself. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Mommy."
His mother, with her absurd notions and her gentle nature and the way she smelled of lavender - wait, was that ... was that just his imagination? Or did he smell lavender in the breeze that seemed to swirl up suddenly around him?
"Annabel," Samuel whispered, his voice completely solemn, "is my mother here?"
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Post by Annabel-Lee Atkinson on Jun 26, 2015 1:28:32 GMT -5
For a second her eyes stayed locked on him, focused on the shifts in his energy as the knowledge that his mother had something left to say. Because he had been thinking about power and anger and all those things that man him the man that was standing before her but the second the word mother left her lips it all faded and he felt weak and powerless all because of one little word. She suppose she would feel the same if someone told her her mother was speaking to her from beyond the grave. But no she watched her mother's soul leave this earth, she held her hand as she walked her over to where she needed to be to cross. "You were young... ten years ago? That's around the same time I lost my mother."
Finally after just hearing the voice whisper to her she saw the woman behind him as she smiled some. "You have her eyes... Your father bone structure but her eyes. God she is stunning... You... sorry ma'ma I shouldn't talk about you like you aren't here." Then against she really wasn't here just the manifestos of her soul, last thoughts and feelings in an energy that can be seen by though with a open soul. "And Lavender... she always smell like lavender, because of the hand cream she used. My mother use to smell like peppermint, that's what her hand cream smelt like. One time I spilt a bottle on the rug and it forever smell like peppermint." She looked up at the woman standing behind Samuel and her eyes followed her as she moved, "Sorry ma'ma I know rude to think of just myself right now."
"Quiet alright Miss Annabel was it?" The girl nodded and the woman gave a soft smile. " Well don't worry dear you are a sweet thing for doing this I know it's hard. Say can you ask him about the bow and arrow... he always loved his bow and arrow will still talk about it to this day."
"Your bow and Arrow? Shooting bird... She use to make you pray for them. It's been a long time since you last prayed for the gifts that life has given you. Like birds..." She said her eyes moving back onto Samuel "She wants to know if you still have it? After all she loved it whenever you would come home after practicing with it. All proud and glowing. Oh but there was the one time you shot the neighbour cat by mistake and once she had you alone you laughed about it together. It was a mean old cat anyways always digging in her roses and ruining them."
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Aedan O'Brien
Fuego Student - Year 7
one for your tummy, one for your cheek, one for the devil inside of me
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Post by Aedan O'Brien on Jun 26, 2015 2:49:47 GMT -5
Samuel nodded slowly, eyes wide and mouth agape. "Yes, ten ... " he repeated. Ten years old and Mommy went to the hospital and she said she would bring home a new baby but she never came back. No new baby, no Mommy, just silent Daddy with dead eyes locking himself in his room. And then Annabel's gaze shifted, and she was looking beyond him, so Samuel turned as quickly as he could, hoping to catch a glimpse, but he saw nothing. Only the dark expanse of the Quidditch pitch. No mother. He reached out experimentally but the air felt just as it had before. No mother, just the faint scent of lavender on the wind, and Annabel's voice in his ears.
His eyes ... his mother's eyes ... yes, the muddy-ocean green, but that was all he'd gotten from her. Only the eyes. Sometimes his father couldn't bear to meet his gaze. Sometimes he wished he could tear his own eyes out of his skull.
Memories came flooding back to him as he listened to Annabel and stared at the stark nothingness that was all his eyes could see. The bow and arrow ... the cat ... he hadn't shot the cat by mistake. That was only the lie he told his mother. He shot the cat for her because it ruined her roses. He shot the cat and then he couldn't bear to admit it because he didn't want her to look at him with disappointment in her eyes, so he had lied.
He had told her a lie and she had carried it beyond the grave with her.
And she knew that he didn't pray.
And now he couldn't bear to look into the darkness anymore, so he turned again to look at Annabel. Samuel swallowed hard, and his voice trembled ever so slightly as he spoke. "My bow, of course, I ... I love my bow. I still practice, and ... I ... Annabel, why is she here? Is she stuck? Is she sad? Does she feel guilty?" He turned again to the darkness where his mother was. "You didn't do anything wrong!" he exclaimed. "Why are you still here? Are you hurt? You don't have any sins, you don't have any ... "
His voice broke, then, and turned into a shattered whisper. "Mommy? Where are you?"
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