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Post by Emyr Sayer on Jun 18, 2015 22:02:58 GMT -5
Why did they call it Celestial Lake? Did it reflect the stars particularly well? Had a piece of the moon landed in it? Or a meteor? Emyr couldn't quite figure out exactly what it was that make it so celestial. He would admit that celestial sounded a lot better than comic lake. Or lunar lake. And stellar lake was just lame. Either way, he was going to sleep a bit further away from it tonight. There had been too much drama surrounding the lake that- well, it felt like morning to him, but it was only a few hours ago. He managed to collect a decent pile of leaves, and made a kind of bed out of them. Emyr would have to figure out something better for when it rained, but for now just being under the stars was enough for him. He might want to invest in a couple of good coats, too. Winter wasn't all that far off.
Nestling into the leaves was nice, surprisingly warm too. He wondered if there was something wrong with him, that he felt so much safer outside in the wild, than he ever could in a bed. Emyr knew it was at least partially to do with habituation, he hadn't spent more than a couple of nights in a bed since leaving home. Even on the ship he'd slept away from his bunk, taking solace in the sound of the working machinery. And the link to the forest and the night sky, well, that much was obvious. At least tonight he would definitely be woken up by the sun in the morning. And he might actually attend some classes.
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Post by Annabel-Lee Atkinson on Jun 18, 2015 22:42:46 GMT -5
She need to be outside. Really badly... There was just too many voices in here right now. To many people feeling all sorts of things all at once. You know she figure this is why she always like being outside more. Because yes there were some sprites but they were not all crammed into one room, all speaking to her at one time and making her feel so overwhelmed. Emotions too... scared first years and seventh year stressed out about finishing school. There was heartbreak and joy and sadness... so much sadness. The school always seemed to be consumed with this looming persent of dark heavy sadness that hurt so badly.
And if she didn't leave this dining hall right now she might scream.
So Annable had rushed outside and down to the lake, she could handle a few drowning spirtes right now but not all that emotion, it was too much for the morning. She did her best to shake off this cold sick feeling, the sweat and the pain in her stomach threaten to make her lose it but something grabbed her attention. A strong feeling, the need for self preservation and it was almost primal... animalistic. Who would be feeling this way. Annabel turned around from the spot she had stopped at when she rushed down here and followed the feeling until she found him that boy Emyr. Was he sleeping out here? Why would he do a thing like that? "Excuse me?" She asked looking at him with her eyes wide. This boy had her so very confused. What was she to make of him because his feeling and emotions were so... strange. "What are you doing here?"
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Post by Emyr Sayer on Jun 18, 2015 22:58:49 GMT -5
It was becoming slowly clear that sleeping outside was going to result in some interruption. It was ghost-girl this time, appearing out of nowhere like a ghost herself. How the hell had she found him, especially so, well, accurately? She had made like a bloody bee-line to him. Was he really that bad at hiding? He rubbed his eyes, and formulated a response to her somewhat impertinent question. "I was going to take a nap, and hopefully not miss classes tomorrow. Were you... hunting for me?" That was a strange way to put it. Then again, having a girl he had met that morning- afternoon, burst into his sleeping place like she was going to freaking stab him or something was pretty damn strange.
"Don't tell me that I need an exorcism, or something. It's way too late tonight for chanting in Latin." Any time of night was way too late for chanting in Latin, in his opinion. And it was definitely too late to try and understand why she looked so confused at him being there. Was he haunted? Did she have a thing against sleeping outside? Was she just unpredictably strange? All of these and more were definitely options, and it could quite possibly be a bunch of them together. "Give it to me straight, Doc."
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Post by Annabel-Lee Atkinson on Jun 18, 2015 23:35:44 GMT -5
She shook her head and couldn't help it she just stared at him, her lips parted slightly and her head tilted as she just stared at him. He was so strange, so very strange... And this was coming from her! "No I just came out here. Everyone in the dining hall... they are so many feeling and so many people with family members not ready to cross. And then I felt you and you were feeling so..." She looked over at him and stepped in a little closer. It was so strong and so... She couldn't understand it at all. What was up with this boy? First he takes about running all around as a vagabond and now he's sleeping outside and he is feeling so... so... There wasn't any word she had for it. And Annabel like to think that she was a smart girl that could figure people out well enough by now after years of feeling their emotions. Sometimes she was convinced she didn't even have feelings of her own. Her mood was based on the people around her.
"No no I don't do that..." She said softly as he asked if he was possessed or haunted and no it wasn't t that. He was just... "I am not a doctor." She said honestly, if there was something medically wrong with him she would be of little help. All she could do was tell him what she was feeling, or what she was feeling off of him. "I'm sorry I don't mean to be doing this. In fact it makes me feel incredibly bad whenever I read someone like this but... your emotions are so different. So strong." She shook her head and sighed closing her eyes and biting her lip. "I'm sorry, you must think me mad? I promise I'm not... at least I hope I am not."
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Post by Emyr Sayer on Jun 18, 2015 23:51:15 GMT -5
"You must be an empath," he decided. "But I don't think I've met an empath who sees spirits before." And he had met a couple of empaths. They seemed to be, as a general rule, somewhat kooky, very kind, and drawn to him. Especially Lena, but he definitely didn't want to think about her. Also mostly women, he'd found, which seemed to reinforce a number of stereotypes. Maybe male empaths tended to pretend that they weren't, fight against their abilities and identity. "You're going to have to get used to my weird brain. And, y'know, not mention it to people. Kind of freaks them out. Things that they definitely don't need to know, now or ever. Especially if you meet another one, and figure out the name for what's different about me. Okay?" The last word was said somewhat forcefully, but not threateningly. He needed her to agree. A repeat of the event with Lena was not on his list of things to do.
"Noted. And the doctor line was a joke." People not getting sarcasm was always a pain, but Annabel was far too sweet for him to use it against her. He couldn't be that cruel to someone. Emyr wondered if he could actually trust her to not betray him to others, if she would accidentally let it slip and ruin things for him. "A little bit of madness isn't too bad, it's a lot of madness that you have to be wary of. My emotions do tend to get wild, but it just means I have to have more self control than most. I'm not a danger to anyone, I promise." Not unless they became a danger to him, of course. Insane self preservation instincts came with the package.
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Post by Annabel-Lee Atkinson on Jun 19, 2015 0:40:46 GMT -5
"Yes... I am. But well I try not to read people too much. But sometimes I forget and it's all I can focus on. Reading people I mean." He got very sad suddenly and it made her frown. Was it something she said? She wanted to ask but that could be rude, he probably didn't want her to know that he was feeling so very sad about something or other. She just really hoped it wasn't anything she said. "It's very rare, at least that's what my mother told me when she finally told me what I was. I just thought I had alot of sad imaginary friends." She admitted wishing she could have those days back, it was so simple and there was less shame and less guilt. She didn't feel so out of sorts everywhere she went, doomed to be out of place for the rest of her life.... Maybe she should try being a vagabond until she found the place she belong. Though she figure a girl like her would not do well out on the road so she was stuck with this life... great. You know as it stand maybe all the dead she had talk to were right, better to be dead then living. It's a reward for having suffered in this life, and she had the scars to prove that she has suffered.
"Don't worry I have felt alot of strange emotion before I'll get use to it right quick." She smiled over at him with a toss of her hair to get it out of her eyes. Oh so his doctor comment was a joke... she should have picked up on that but it went totally over her head. "Oh sorry, sarcasm and jokes are a little lost on me. My father didn't allow for such things in my house. He thought they were a waste of time that should have been spent practicing my prayers." Something she hasn't done for a long time, not because she didn't believe in god anymore but because she believe he was no longer listening. "Well I think I am just a little mad and it's good that you have them under control. Oh well good, I don't want you getting hurt or hurting anyone."
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Post by Emyr Sayer on Jun 19, 2015 1:20:11 GMT -5
"Probably a wise idea." Emyr saw the frown on her face and remembered how annoying talking to an empath could be. There was no hiding things from them, not unless you wanted to wipe yourself of emotion entirely. And given that even having just a normal level of emotion was practically impossible for him, having none was just a ridiculous idea. "That wasn't because of you, don't fret. Just... bits of you remind me of an old friend. Another empath. A lot of bad feelings there at the end, that's all. Hard to not feel sad when you remember your favourite person leading a fucking mob after you." He wouldn't lie to himself, his voice was bitter. But it wasn't like anyone could really blame him for that.
Sad imaginary friends. That would be how a child would deal with such a demanding pair of gifts. He pitied the girl, doubly so when she mentioned a religious father. Any witch or wizard with such a parent would have a hard time, let alone an empath and a medium. She'd drawn the grand lotto for insanity-inducing abilities. "Perhaps not as rare as some think. But it's a long way from common. I've met, maybe four other empaths? None of them had to put up with spirits as well." If he could do something to make things easier for her, he would. But the best thing he could do for her sanity would be to stay as far away from her as possible. Though that was true of everyone.
"This is rather stranger than most," he pointed out. Not that he exactly knew what normal emotions felt like, but she could probably tell that his oddity was rather a severe one. "Truly? I would have thought you'd be able to pick up on the amusement in people's emotions, and figure out it was a joke that way." Her father would have clashed with his mother. She was in the school of 'make a joyful noise unto the Lord', and that had extended to any and all forms of laughter. "I'll do my best. Been dealing for some time, I'm pretty good at it."
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Post by Annabel-Lee Atkinson on Jun 19, 2015 2:36:40 GMT -5
He seemed to know exactly what she was thinking because he was so quick to sooth her fears of being the reason he felt so sad so quickly and she gave a small smile. "You know I have heard that before. That I remind people of someone... who was sh-" But her words were cut off and he explain about the other empath girl he knew. How she ran him out of town... "Oh dear I'm sorry. Well I don't think I will be running you out of town soon. so don't worry." Poor thing, he was so hurt by that, so upset still. There was a bitter feeling now, anger and shame.... But she didn't draw attention to into. She just smiled at him as she finally moved to lean against a nearby tree and get out of the sun. She didn't want to get a tan now did she?
Then it hit her like a ton of bricks, pity. He was pitying her and she always hated when that happen. Normally the second people felt pity for her she would leave because she didn't want their pity or need it. She might not look it but she was a fighter, Anabel had the scars to prove it, and she didn't need anyone's pity. She ignored it and try to continue on the conversation as if he didn't have tat feeling of pity for her at all. "I have never meet another one but I would love to one day. Then again you made it sound like you travel alot and I have been stuck here my whole life so." She smiled some when he mention that he had never met one that deals in spirits as well. "You know I like spirits... they have lovely stories. It's too bad that they hold onto this life. I wish more would see that death is their reward for enduring life. But you know most people are gluttons for punishment and will keep making themselves suffer. Human's are funny like that." She comment as if death and life were causal conversation topic one has all the time.
"Oh that's alright." She said with a smile before looking at her feet. "I kind of like strange, it reminds me that there are different people in the world that also don't fix it to any of the boxes. You must have some very speical gift to have feelings like this. Oh well amusement sort of runs into happy and joy, very hard to tell apart at time, specially when there is alot going on. It why I can't stay in crowned rooms for long. Too much all at once and it's like I forget I have my own emotions..." She looked back up and him and gave a small smile again. "Good, I wish I had more control over my gift."
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Post by Emyr Sayer on Jun 19, 2015 3:21:39 GMT -5
"No, I don't think you will. I didn't think she would, either, but the two of you are very different people. For one, I don't think a mob would be all that eager to rally around you," he teased, making sure that the thread of amusement was clear in his mind. The habits of being around empaths were rapidly returning to him. Don't feel bad things, was number one, and he wasn't doing fantastically well at that. Using it as a way to communicate with them, that was number two. There was no better way to make them feel like it wasn't so strange than to weave it into the fabric of communication. Number three was to not try and pretend that you weren't feeling something you clearly were- but he figured that was a rule that could be applied to most people.
Emyr winced when he realised what he had done. "I'm sorry, it's reflexive. I'm usually not this bad at this, it's just been a while." He didn't tell her that she definitely didn't want to meet another empath. Two empaths, feeding off of each others emotions, and the emotions of those around? It was a feedback loop that spelt disaster for both of them. She might not survive such an encounter. But being forced to live without ever meeting another person like her would be tough as well. It's not like he couldn't sympathise, but he had met others like him. And he definitely didn't want to repeat the experience. This time, though, he twisted the emotion in his gut as annoyance. He tried to make it self-directed, but he'd never got the hang of that either. "Being with other people your brand of abnormal isn't what it's cracked up to be. I can tell you that."
To be this young and so comfortable talking about death spoke of a deeply unusual soul. Though, as he was rapidly discovering, she knew a lot more about souls than he did. "We live the life we think we deserve. And those that deserve greatness rarely think so. Those that deserve hard lives are good at avoiding them, too."
"Special is one way of putting it." That line he cloaked the emotion for. No need to bring the surprisingly cheerful girl down. "Happy and joy could also be seen as good signs that something was a joke. I don't know many who tell good jokes while being cruel, or mean. Not the jokes you would like to hear, anyway."
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Post by Annabel-Lee Atkinson on Jun 19, 2015 4:03:35 GMT -5
Okay that time she got it and she smiled. "Hey could rally people if I tried really hard! I can be brave and tough and... Oh I can't even keep a straight face." She ended up laughing because the thought of her as a leader, any sort of leader. No she didn't leader, or even follow really. She just walked her own little path that took her to where she needed to be, doing the things she was intended to do. And she liked it that way, sure her father would try and stop her all the time, reminded her that she needed to be home with god and not "doing the devil's work" as he called it. But she was too far gone down the rabbit hole and while she will never have a place in this world she sort of had a purpose. Wasn't that good enough?
He was so quick to apologize and she shook her head. "Please don't worry about it Emyr, happens all the time I am more than use to it." She said with a soft smile. "Most people have never spent any time with a empath so they forget all the time and you are trying which means alot to me." He mush have know how tiring it gets trying to juggle your own feelings and those of the people around you. Throw in pity and anger and things can get messy but you know right now was good and nice. Even if he was feeling a little annoyed with something but it wasn't her... it was with himself he was making that as clear as he could. "I suppose it would have downsides just like everything else in life. But you know I think just for a day it would be nice to meet someone. Learn what life is like for them and their story... Just to see."
We live the life we think we deserve. And those that deserve greatness rarely think so. Those that deserve hard lives are good at avoiding them, too."
That was beautiful and so poignant and true. Normally when she talked to openly about death people around her cringed and tried to change the topic. She couldn't blame them death was so scary. It was inevitable but also it was like staring into a void, facing oblivion head on and you had no way of knowing where you were going. But being around death all her life... it was second nature to her. "That's a lovely way of looking at it."
All she could do was smile and nod. Annabel really liked Emyr. In him she found a sort of kinder energy which was nice. He had a good way of putting things and he understood her. Maybe he would be her friend because he really liked her and it was't just out of pity for her being so... her. "No I avoid those jokes... Though I get the feeling most of them are told behind my back."
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Post by Emyr Sayer on Jun 19, 2015 4:32:02 GMT -5
Emyr laughed along with her. "You don't have to be a leader, Annabel. You don't have to be a follower, either. The world has more than enough of those. Just keep being you, and things won't turn out too badly." Especially if she had as much of a knack for making people want to protect her as she seemed to. If more people were just able to be themselves, without bothering so much about everyone else, he imagined things would work a heck of a lot better. Human nature seemed to violently disagree with him though, and all of them were subservient to that in the end.
"Yeah, but that ups the expectation, doesn't it? I've spent enough time around empaths to not make these amateur mistakes. The emotion juggling is actually quite good for mental exercise." Like just trying would ever be good enough for him. Emyr demanded perfection from himself, in everything that he did. Which, as a consequence, was probably why he didn't do all that much. It was easier for him to do nothing, that to do something poorly. School life was going to be tough to adjust to. He didn't even know where he was going to begin.
Emyr cleared his throat. "Well," was he really going to do this? Was he even ready to do it? No, he wouldn't ever be. But he might as well do it anyway. "I... I could tell you. About Lena. Then you at least have an idea what life's like for another empath. Even if it isn't as good as talking to one yourself." There was one hell of an offer. He'd met this girl how many hours ago? But he couldn't help but empathise- somewhat ironically, really.
"The people who tell them aren't worth the time of day." Anyone who made life harder for an empath wasn't worth the dirt on their shoes, in his opinion. Not when they had to live the struggles of everyone around them, whether they wanted to or otherwise. It was a cruel thing to do to people who were kind by default. Emyr would not have any trouble flooring someone for that alone. Well, he might have a little trouble if it were a girl. A bit of a moral conundrum. He'd figure something out.
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Post by Annabel-Lee Atkinson on Jun 19, 2015 19:31:12 GMT -5
"Nope, I am perfectly happy just being me." She said with a smile before adding. "Nope at least things are alright for the most part." Sure there were things she wished she could changed but... No she was happy for the most part. Well as happy as a girl who didn't know if she had ever experienced happiness on her own before. Her happiness always seemed connected to someone else being happy and standing next to her. Still he had a very good point, she didn't have to be anything or anyone, just herself.
She smiled as he talked about being good at emotional juggling, the experience coming from years of being with other Empaths. And while his emotions were definitely different, he had a good control on them. And it was very nice of him to try and keep everything in line so she would go feeling every tiny shift he had in his feelings.
Well...
He said in a way that sounded so wary and yet she was intrigued. He was going to tell her about Lena, the other Empath he knew, the one that ran him out of town and she frowned some. "You don't have to if it is too painful." It didn't feel too painful but but it still made him very sad to think about her the poor thing. "That.. that would mean so much to me if you could tell me." She doesn't think she has had anyone tell her something about another empath, not even the teachers. This might be the nices thing anyone had ever done for her and she ended up moving in a little closer to him.
Well she knew that much that she shouldn't pay and mind to the people who thought her powers were wasted, and others like her father who saw it as the mark of the devil on her very soul, damning her to hell no matter how much she prayed. Then there were those who just thought she was crazy and she tried not to listen but... when you talk to thin air and see things no one else sees it's hard to believe that you haven't fallen down the rabbit hole. "I try not to. But it can be hard sometimes, you know how people are."
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Post by Emyr Sayer on Jun 19, 2015 20:20:15 GMT -5
Annabel, it seemed, had mastered the art of contentment. He wondered what that was like, being a happy medium. Emyr couldn't help but laugh under his breath at the terrible, terrible pun. "That's good to hear. Not many people manage to achieve contentment." He nearly giggled again at the choice of words, but suppressed it. She'd know there was something up anyway, but there was nothing mean-spirited about it. Hopefully she'd just catch the happy. Happiness really was infectious, but for her, so was every other emotion.
"It is painful, but dwelling on these things isn't healthy. Besides, if my pain can lessen your sense of being alone in the world, well, it's worth it, isn't it?" Emyr tried his best to properly clear his mind. It wasn't just to help Annabel concentrate, but himself as well. He would have to sink deep into the storytelling frame of mind to tell this one straight, and he wasn't going to do poorly by Lena by telling her story wrong. "Okay. Here goes."
Emyr didn't tell Annabel about falling in love with Lena. Those were memories, emotions that belonged to him alone. She could probably figure it out for herself, but he wasn't going to let those pains go just yet.
"I know all too well how people are. But, for heaven's sake, these are witches and wizards. They live in a world where dragons and magic are unquestionably real, yet someone who can speak to the spirits of those who haven't quite left is too much for them? Ridiculous."
He on the other hand was too much for anyone, anything. He could understand why people would talk behind his back if they knew. He would just have to stop them from finding out, for as long as he possibly could.
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Post by Annabel-Lee Atkinson on Jun 20, 2015 2:25:24 GMT -5
"Well after years of talking to the dead I have learned something. Life is too short not to be content." She said with a smile as she took a seat against the tree to listen to his story. How magical was this? A story about another medium told in the glow of the moon. It was like something out of a poem. She could see Lord Tennyson writing about a night like thing this felt like this is the sort of night that the Lady of Shalott would have loved. She looked up at Emyr with a soft smile. "Very painful. It's the reason why so many have trouble leaving, the dwell on pain. So pain really. Then his mind went very clear, something so refreshing to her. His energy was raw and open which meant that she felt close to nothing coming from him. A very rare thing to happen indeed.
Then began his story. About that other Empath he knew named Lena. How kind and helpful she seemed. The sort of girl that Annabel would have loved to have know. She loved people who just wanted to make the world a better place and while she had trouble with living people she was quiet good at bringing happiness to the dead. This part of the story touched her, about not letting the old woman die alone and Annabel hoped that it was what the woman needed to help find salvation. The party.... that must have been wonderful. So much joy on young faces. What a warm thought. And their summer together? How could it get any better than that? She couldn't help but wonder if they felt in love at all. He did speak about her in a way that a lover might, playing up the best parts about her... No that was a silly thought. They were just good friends.
Annabel was really liking how this girl acted when she remember something... Oh right she helped run him out of town. How did that happen. Well it didn't take long for him to explain that part and her hand covered her mouth in shock. But she cared for him so much and... wow it had to be something big for her to do that to a friend who spent so much time with her. So what secret was he hiding then? There was so much she wanted to ask... but it would be so rude too.
By the time he was done her heart felt so heavy. She was sad for him and for Lena... But he wasn't sad.
What? What was this? She didn't even hear the other words he had spoken after, she just hand her hand resting on her chest as she looked up at him with confuses all over her face and tears in her eyes. "What... I don't understand you aren't sad. So why am I so sad?" She had never been sad all on her own before, at least she didn't think so. Not for a long time at least. Not since her father tried to rid the devil from her soul and that was more scared than pure sad. No this was the kind of heavy sad that hurt in all the wrong ways...
"How are you not sad?"
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Post by Emyr Sayer on Jun 20, 2015 6:53:14 GMT -5
There was no way that he could truly explain how, and why he was not saddened by his own tale of woe. Partially it was because he had told it to himself so many times, and any wound would heal at least partially given enough time. Partially it was because he was a vagabond, and he had always known that things would end poorly between him and Lena, with him disappearing never to be seen again. There was a good deal of apathy involved, and that was the hardest to try and get across to her. How could Annabel ever truly understand apathy, when she was forced to share in the pain and joy of others all of the time she was with them, and made to listen to the restless dead when she wasn't. If she was going to choose apathy as a means to cope with her abilities, it would have happened long ago.
"I don't have time for traitors," he said, the bitterness slipping into his voice only for a moment. "If someone betrays me, I cut them out, and I don't ever give them another chance to hurt me." Yet he still wasn't over her, she would appear sometimes in the faces and actions of others. He might never be, people often seemed to remain haunted by their first loves until their dying days. The ocean that separated them, and the growing gulf of time did not seem to lessen his ability to remember every single thing about her, much more even than he had told to Annabel. Whereas she would probably only remember him as the monster that she had successfully driven from her town, a devil dressed up as a charming and handsome boy.
"Don't try being a vagabond, Annabel. It would suit you less than anyone."
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