Kyra Reid
Hammer
Men and their cocks never cease to amazing me
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Post by Kyra Reid on Aug 22, 2015 1:49:22 GMT -5
July 8, 1915
today is probably the worst day of my life,
Got off the boat today, ma and Gawain were waiting for me. Pa was probably at the track… or maybe he just didn’t want people to see him getting his daughter after a boat bringing soldiers back from France. I don’t know. Either way; he wasn’t there. Just Ma and Gawain… always seem to be just Ma and Gawain.
Honestly I didn’t even know if they would recognize me, seeing as I was pulled right out of the trenches and thrown onto a boat for home. You would think I would have been smarter… Spent my whole life acting like a boy only to get caught in the worst of ways, I got the back of my leg cut open. That’s right… they found out I was a girl because some German bitch got me in the leg with his knife. When I got back to the trench the doc there wants to look at it a little closer and when he reach down my leg and didn’t find a cock… well let’s just say it was a shocker to him.
Anyways yeah, I was pretty sure that my ma and Gawain wouldn’t recognize me. Hair all cut off, still covered in blood and dirt, not to mention I got this lip from the fucking wound on my leg. Lucky me it hadn’t started to rot. I don’t think it will.
As I got off the boat there were right there… looking at me and I don’t know if I can explain the look. It was one of rage, disappointment, proud… sadness. It was heartbreaking really. I never meant to hurt them, never meant to put them through this. I just… I wanted to be the hero for this family you know. I didn’t want this family to have the shame from never having someone who fought in the war. Gawain walked right up to me when I got onto the dock, ma right behind him. He inhaled and the next thing I knew he was yelling right at me.
“Kyra Juilanna Ried, what the fuck were you thinking? Do you have a fucking death wish?! Fuck is wrong with you!” By this point he had grabbed my shoulders and was shaking me… Then he totally broke down. Crying into my hair and hugging me so tight I was afraid he might break me. “You’re a fucking nightmare Kyra…” He said though his tears as I hugged him back and fought my own tears. I didn’t have an answer for him at the time. I didn’t know what to say to make this alright. This wasn’t like the times I got into trouble at home… this time was real and I..
My ma came up next, she just gave me a hug and I could tell she had been crying the whole time. “Let’s go home bug.” She said as we headed back to the apartment. The girls aren’t home yet and I am dreading when they do finally come home. It’s bad enough that I am nothing like them but...
The second I got home I went straight to my room and reached for the paper I had left under my bed… My will in case I never came back. I didn’t have much to leave to anyone but still it felt right to make one in case I didn’t come back. Part of me wants to rip it up because clearly I came back… despite the fact I was kicking and screaming and didn’t want to leave. The other part of me wants to leave it… because I know I am going back to France. You think I would have no desire to after the things I have seen this week, but I need to. I can’t just sit here knowing what is going on in France… Knowing what I was fighting for saved more lives than I was taking.
I’m going back one way or another…. I just need to find a way.
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Kyra Reid
Hammer
Men and their cocks never cease to amazing me
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Post by Kyra Reid on Aug 22, 2015 1:50:24 GMT -5
September 1th, 1915
I should be on my way back to school, but I’m not.
I’m on a boat to England. Ma and Pa and the girls are heading to Hogwarts are part of this transfer program. Something they both thought would be good for me. But Gawain knows… He’s knows I am going back to England before going back to France. This time I’m not gonna get sent home before I am meant to leave, because I joined the Queen Mary's Army Auxiliary Corps… Sure I’m suck wearing a stupid dress and I really don’t get to see much fighting given that I’ll be working as a nurse… But hey they need nurses to go into the trenches sometimes so maybe… maybe I’ll get to do what I was meant to do.
Gawain was the only one who came to see me off. It was raining which felt right from some reasons. Seems like every time we get a moment together it rains, whenever he saves me from a fight, or comes and finds me because it’s raining. He kissed me on the head and probably told me the nicest thing anyone has ever told me. And I am damn sure I am gonna right down every word of what he said so I never forget.
“Listen here Bug…” He said looking me dead in the eyes and I know he was fighting back tears. “I don’t care if you come back a hero, just that you come the fuck back alright? This family needs you to come back okay? I need you… Ladybug… don’t you fucking dare not come back to me. I don’t know why you feel the need to do this. But I know I can’t stop you so just come back to the family okay?” His hands cup my cheek as I nodded. Struggling to fight my own tears and I am not the so the sort of woman that cries over shit.
“I promise.” I said as he kissed me on the head and I smiled.
“Good… I love you lady bug.” With that said I handed him a note and smiled some, but it quickly faded when I realized what exactly I was handing him. He looked confused as well as I cleared my throat so I could speak.
“Only read it if something happens to me alright?” Gawain took one look at the note and then looked at me and nodded, taking the note and tucking it into his breast pocket.
And that was it… Now I’m off to England. Training for two weeks and then it back to France. I wonder if much has changed since I been gone, or is it still the same bloody muddy mess with men who look more like walking corpses than humans. Part of me is questioning why I want to go back so bad as I sit here watching America get father and father away… the other part knows this is what I have to do. I started this and now I am going to see it though.
And if I die out there… at least I died fighting. That’s how I always wanted to go right? I could stay home and get married… grow old with someone. Ma always said she would find me a good man one day but me a wife? Nah, there isn’t a man alive that would want a thing like me for their own. So its better I die fighting than waiting for a man that will never come.
Just please god, if I do die… at least leave my body together. I want my family to know it’s me who died.
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Kyra Reid
Hammer
Men and their cocks never cease to amazing me
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Post by Kyra Reid on Aug 22, 2015 1:51:26 GMT -5
September 18, 1918
I didn’t write a word while I was in France for a good reason; I don’t want to be able to remember a goddamn thing that happened while I was there. I want every last memory to fade into oblivion, I never want to have to think about that experience again.
Yet it funny, while I hate myself for going, while I wish I was like a normal girl and just stayed home wait to get married. I don’t regret a thing I did; I probably saved more lives than I took. Or let…
There is one thing I want to remember, one moment I am going to write down in case I do lose my sanity and do lose all thought. I want to remember this… because it’s just one of those moments, despite how nightmarish that doesn’t deserve to fade into blackness.
Mustard gas scary fucking shit…
The night of Third Battle of Ypres, I was station in a safe zone just outside the trenches. It was raining of course. It always seemed to rain on nights like this, made me think of Gawain… how much I missed him. He had written to me a few nights before this. Ma and Pa finally found out I wasn’t at Hogwarts but went back to fight this war… safe to say Ma broke down in tear and Pa was ranting about how come he had this one freak for a daughter. God I can hear him now…
“Where did we go wrong Mary? Where did we go wrong with her?! I knew we should have never let her go work for herself!? You see what those boys at the docks did to her? And you” By this point he would be pointing right at Gawain. “Always willing to let her get out of your sight, always willing to let her go fight or run around or cut off all her fucking hair! Fucking hell how did we go wrong with her!”
Always a disappointment wasn’t I? Anyways…
Third Battle of Ypres, god what a fucking night that was. Like I said Mustard gas, it is the scariest thing the war had to offer, at least I think so. If only for this reason; I was working like I said… and soldiers where being brought in. Some alive, some dead… but all of them covered in blister and burns from the gas.
If someone ever finds this and reads it, I have a question for you. Have you ever smelt burning human skin? Heard the chemical burning though it as sick yellow blister form and pop releasing a sick yellow bloody puss? No… I thought not.
I didn’t really like talking to soldiers much. I sort of had this reputation of the girl that was in the trenches and that sort of weirder people out… Or scared them I wasn’t sure which one. But there was this one man… his name was Spencer, a good old fashion Irish boy who would come by and talk to me. I liked him well enough; he was the sort of person who took the shitty situation surrounding us and made jokes about it. He would come about and make all us healer laugh and smile and he would always spend a little extra time to speak with me.
Coy smiles, shining through all the dirt and the blood on us.. always made my heart flutter. I wish I told him that.
There were no coy smiles when they brought him in. I couldn’t even move when I first saw him it was like his skin was peeling off, and the blood and the smell. I had to choke back the tears I was feeling rise in my throat as I moved to the side of the cot they got him on.
“Kyra…” He asked, voice shaking as he cough. I knew that cough well, the gas was in his lung, scaring them up with burns. “Kyra… please… don’t save me.”
I couldn’t believe what he was asking me to do. I gently reached down and took his hand, my touch was enough to make his skin pop and blister more. “Spencer…” I said softly as I felt him thumb rub the back of my hand.
“it’s my time love,” I don’t know how he found the strength to talk. I like to think I am a strong person but I think I would have just been completely broken after this this. “I’m gonna go with God now but I need your help… please don’t save me.” Again somehow he found the strength to bring my hand to his lips.
“Thank you Kyra… for all the smiled and laughs. Kept me going. You would have made a good drinking buddy.” I lean down so my lips pressed onto his head as I whispered to him.
“I’ll never forget you… Avada Kedava.”
And he was gone. I don’t know if I did the right thing, but I did it... Spencer I hope you are happy wherever you are. I’m sorry I never told you that you made me feel… I don’t know. You made me feel like I had a real friend out there. You kept me sane some nights…
One day I like to go back to Ireland. I like to find his family and let them know what he did for me… for so many. How brave there son is, but that’s really a pipe dream. I will probably never go back to Ireland as much as I would love to one day.
Put it on the bucket list now that I’m heading home… weird to think that is happening. I’m going home… going home…
I don’t even know how I am supposed to feel about going home. Sort of feels like I’m dreaming I guess.
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Kyra Reid
Hammer
Men and their cocks never cease to amazing me
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Post by Kyra Reid on Aug 22, 2015 17:37:53 GMT -5
September 25, 1918
Sometimes I wonder if I was born wrong.
I mean, it just feels like there is something so deeply wrong with me. Something in my brains got me wired different than other girls. How many girls would burn someone alive after torturing them? Am I getting ahead of myself? Maybe but I think you can forgive me seeing as I just came home from killing someone without batting an eye.
Think I can blame the war for this? I am gonna blame the war. But I think I can also blame the fact that God just fucking made me wrong. You know he looked at all the girls being born on that day and was like “That one… she’s the fucked up one. Why? Because fuck you I’m god that’s why.”
In France… I was told a lot that god was dead. I don’t think he’s dead, I just think he doesn’t give two shits about the fucked up planet he created anymore with all its war and fucking corruption. I suppose it doesn’t change the fact that I was praying to him a few hours ago for protection. Guess that makes me a fucking hypocrite but whatever, I am pass the point of caring.
You know I thought I wouldn’t have to do this shit anymore. I’m tired of hurting people… tired of watching other hurt people. But I can’t help it, you don’t fuck with the Reid family without hearing from me. So when Gawain and Pa brought Abijean back from the hospital the first word out my mouth after I hugged was “What’s his fucking name?”
The whole room went dead quiet. All eyes on her and me as I broke the hug but kept my hands on her shoulders and looked her dead in the eyes. “What’s his fucking name Abby?” I asked again as she looked away and swallowed.
“Edward Cardrew…” She replied and that was all I needed. Grabbing my hand off the table I was gone and out the door. Or at least trying… Gawain grabbed me by my arm, Ma shoo the girls to their room and I knew what was coming.
“Fuck you think you are going.” Gawain asked, his eyes hard but mind are probably harder.
“Where do you think? No one, and I mean no one, touches my little sister and gets the fuck away with it.” I think Gawain always like to think he was stronger than me because he had a few inches on me. But really it wasn’t hard to get out from under his girp.
“Kyra stop it! You don’t have to do this.” My Ma said taking my hands and trying to pull me back into the living room but I jerked away. Pa just stood there shaking his head, not saying a word as he looked at me with disgust. I pushed pass my mom and Gawain and walked right up to that fucking Bastard I have to call a father.
“Oi I’m sorry… I’m sorry that I wanna see him suffer after what he did to her. Sorry that I’m not like normal fucking girl. That you got this freak for a daughter and it makes you look bad with your buddies down at the track.” I knew I hit a nerve and I knew what was coming, a good old slap right across the face.
“You listen to me you rowdy little bitch. You wanna go be a man and play the hero? Then don’t expect me or your brother to come bail you out again! I will drag you to New York city and turn you into the police myself if I have to.” I know right… some fucking father. I’ll never live the shit that happen in New York down will I?
I looked around the room at everyone and pulled my hat on before moving for the door when my Ma spoke again. “What happen to my little girl?”
What did happen to me? I wasn’t always like this you know? I do remember a time when I was a proper little girl in a white dress with my hair up in perfect curls all tied up with a ribbon… I remember the day I cut that bloody ribbon to bits, when I pulled on a pair of Gawain’s pants and one of his hats… when I went out and found a pair of boy boots in my size… What happen to me?
I turned and looked at my Ma for a second “She wanted more for herself than just a man and baking bread her whole life… she wanted to be respected. And then she went to France… and part of her died on the battlefield.”
I’m not gonna write exactly what I did to Edward fucking Cardew. Just that I found him.. Took him to an old warehouse and I made it clear that I was doing this because of Abby… But… Maybe it’s important that I write down what I said to him. Before I burned him…
I want you to remember my face… I want you to be the last person you look at when the fire takes you… Because my sister thought that your face would be the last one she would see. And when your family finds you, they will know that you never fuck with the Reid family, they will just have to take one fucking look at you.
And if you’re lucky, hopefully you get to Heaven half an hour before the Devil knows your dead.
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