Duilio Rossi
Fresh off the Boat
Forgive us our trespasses.
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Post by Duilio Rossi on Jul 29, 2015 22:29:17 GMT -5
At least his sister had a proper room. It wasn't large or fancy enough to suit her, but it was a room. Duilio turned over on his pile of itchy sailcloth to stare at the ceiling above him. The floor pitched back and forth beneath his back. This trip had been anything but smooth. At the last possible moment, he'd come pelting up the docks, dragging Ella along, and thrust fistfuls of his father's money into the face of a random crew member.
Thank God it had worked, or they would both be dead right now.
He'd arrived late to his sister's engagement party, and he'd known something was wrong before he even made it to the front gate. It was the silence: so thick and heavy and wrong. And then the trickle of blood streaming out from beneath the door ...
There had been nothing peaceful about the deaths he'd unintentionally visited upon his loved ones, nothing serene about the look on his sister's face when he'd opened the wardrobe door and pulled her out of it, pressing her face against his chest so that she wouldn't see the body of her fiancé.
She hated him now. He could see it in her eyes. He could see it in his own eyes whenever he glimpsed his reflection.
Stones. They were just stones. Shiny and expensive and perfectly cut, but ... just stones.
He had traded four lives for them. Five, really, if he counted the future and the joy he'd stolen from Mariella.
He rubbed his eyes before sitting up, unable to sleep any longer. He couldn't keep thinking this way; it would destroy them both. They needed to look forward, move forward, stick together and make things work. America was the land of opportunities, was it not? Perhaps it was also the land of forgetting, an opiate for the soul.
Well ... they were 19 now. He might as well try again to make her speak to him without ... well ... just to speak to him at all.
He knocked softly on her cabin door, unsure whether she would be awake or if she had even gone to sleep. "Ella ... it's me. May I come in?"
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Post by Mariella Rossi on Jul 29, 2015 23:58:29 GMT -5
"The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I lack. In green pastures you let me graze; to safe waters you lead me; you restore my strength. You guide me along the right path for the sake of your name. Even when I walk through a dark valley, I fear no harm for you are at my side; your rod and staff give me courage."
Her voice was soft and her Italian perfect as she sat reading her bible in hand. It was a beautiful book to, bound together with a hard cover and a pink ribbon to make her place. Little gold flowers over the spine... It was among some of the more important family things she was able to pack away to bring to America. Along with her mother's jewelry and a few of her dresses. Her father's most prized books, and her eldest brothers ring... Pictures and a few of the smaller painting.... But there was so much they were leaving behind. So much she wanted to bring with her and she couldn't. And the rest was destroyed, covered in the blood of her family.
Ella swallowed hard and flipped the page. This is what she had been doing this whole boat ride, she had been reading the bible over and over again. Her Rosary clutched tight in her hand. She was still dressed in all black, a widow still in mourning. Her face still veiled from the world views. Cinderella's don't wear black, but they do when everyone they love is dead. She had barely slept, barely ate... just sat here and kept reading over and over again.
And the only family member alive is the one person who betrayed them. And he was the one she trusted the most, the one who swore to always protect her and he brought this upon them. She didn't want to hate her brother, she loved her brother. But it was so hard to look at him and not feel rage.
And while she can hide her anger it didn't change the fact that it was still there and he knew it was there.
"Those whose steps are guided by the Lord; whose ways God approves, may stumble, but they will never fall, for the Lord God holds their hand." She said closing her eyes and crossing herself when she heard a knock at the door. The voice her her brother clear as day a Ella swallowed some and seat the book down on her side table before standing up and brushing her hands on her dress. Her room was small but she didn't mind, it was a room she could hide away in, that was all that matter to her right now.
Still it had been a while since she spoke to her brother. So she open the door and looked up at him. "Yes Duilio, you may come in..."
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Duilio Rossi
Fresh off the Boat
Forgive us our trespasses.
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Post by Duilio Rossi on Jul 30, 2015 0:41:10 GMT -5
Progress. He felt as though he hadn't seen his sister in days. This was progress. Perhaps someday she wouldn't hate him anymore.
He stepped inside the tiny room, closing the door softly behind him as he offered a small smile in Ella's direction. "Well ... happy birthday. Ah ... do you have everything you need? Have you been seasick?" Pathetic attempts at conversation, but he took one look at her and he was back in his parents' house, wading through pools of blood, pulling her out of the wardrobe ...
Recriminations, loathing, unending hatred and failure ...
The way she had looked at him while she packed, as though she believed he wasn't hurting. It wasn't his fault that he'd had to keep it together in that moment. If he hadn't, they would both be dead by now. So he had swallowed his fear and his panic and his self-loathing. He'd saved it up to get them on this ship, to get a room for her, to leave the shore, to get out of her sight ... and then he had lost it. Everything that had been held back came pouring out of him in the form of vomit and then tears. Then he'd gotten completely hammered and started the whole process over again.
But he couldn't afford to act that way in front of her. How dare he? How dare he do anything that might make her pity him? It was his fault, all his fault. Everything was ruined. If only he hadn't been late ...
He didn't even have a gift for her, except for this diamond that shimmered in the morning light, hot from his palm and covered with invisible blood.
"For you," he offered awkwardly, holding out his hand with the diamond resting in his palm.
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Post by Mariella Rossi on Jul 30, 2015 2:06:30 GMT -5
Happy Birthday...
It was their Birthday? It totally slipped their mind that it was their birthday. Oh and she didn't get him anything, she always got him something... Perhaps this could be her gift to him. She was speaking to him again and she was trying her hardest to forgive him. God would want her to forgive him, but it was so hard because he took everyone she loved from him. She was going to have the perfect life and he just... She told him too. The longer he kept living that life it would catch up to him. And catch up to him it did.
"I'm alright, a little seasick but it's not as bad a I thought it would be." She said softly with a smile as she pulled off her veil because really she didn't want to be wearing it anymore. With it gone and tossed onto the small wooden chair she had been sitting in the last few days Ella finally was able to look her brother in the eyes... And all she saw was pain and suffering. And her torn at her heart.
She wanted nothing more than to comfort him, to warm him up in her arms and tell him it would be okay. But this was his fault, and it was so hard. She was after all, just like him in alot of ways if only more controlled. But she could be bitter and she could be angry, and it was very hard for her to let go right now. But she needed to, her mother would have wanted her to because that is what god would want.
He held out a diamond, a perfect cut diamond. Something that she would love to have made into a ring one day and she took it with a smile before pressing a kiss to her twins cheek. "Thank you it's lovely." Forgiveness This was them on the road to forgiveness. The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving and she would be as well. She walked over to her trunk and pulled out her mother jewelry box to tuck it safely away. She wore the key to it as a necklace, kept it close to her heart so it would always be safe. And once it was locked up and tucked away she walked back over to her brother and looked down.
"You should come pray with me for a little bit, after all..." She looked back over at the veil she had just taken off and then back at her brother. "We should still be in mourning."
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Duilio Rossi
Fresh off the Boat
Forgive us our trespasses.
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Post by Duilio Rossi on Jul 30, 2015 2:48:58 GMT -5
As brief as it was, she actually smiled, and the sight of it was a balm to Duilio's heart. The veil removed, she finally looked at him - actually looked - for the first time since they'd left their childhood home. The barest hint of tentative relief leapt in his chest. Yes, there was still a light at the end of the tunnel. There had to be. The thought of that light was the only thing that had kept him from hurling himself into the ocean every time night fell on the ship.
After all, she might feel vindicated if he were dead, as he ought to be, but she would also be alone. What would happen to her then? The world was a dangerous place, and especially for women. No, he had to stay alive for now. Perhaps once he'd gotten her settled with family in America, then he could walk away with his gun and join Vincenzo. Not before that point.
"I'm glad to hear it. I was a little seasick at first, but it seems to have passed." Another pathetic attempt at curling up the corners of his numb lips.
God, every moment was agony. Duilio felt as though he weighed a thousand pounds. How was he supposed to fight against this guilt?
She accepted the diamond - the heartbreakingly expensive rock - and put it away in their mother's jewelry box. Duilio hadn't thought of anything to take with them. Everything he'd needed was already on his person: wand, gun, cigarettes, money ... diamonds. If it had only been him, all of the family keepsakes would have been left there with the bodies.
When she invited him to pray, his gaze fell to the ornate little Bible she cherished so much. Of course she had been in here praying while he had been drinking. Hadn't that always been the truth of it? Wasn't that why they were in this mess? Duilio knew next to nothing about prayer or religion. As a child in church, his mind had wandered endlessly. There were always so many other things to think about. But it couldn't hurt, and he knew it was an offer she wouldn't have made a few days earlier, so he certainly wasn't going to reject the notion.
Kneeling down on the floor next to the chair, Duilio took up most of the tiny room's floor space, but it would be sufficient. "I, ah," he murmured, clearing his throat, "I don't exactly know how. But I will try. It is probably ... healthier than the way I have been mourning."
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Post by Mariella Rossi on Jul 30, 2015 14:36:27 GMT -5
"That's good." She said, her voice strained some. Why was God testing her like this? Had she not always been a good religious woman? Why did he feel the need to punish then, test her love and loyalty for her brother, and ruin her future. She was going to be the perfect wife and the perfect mother but now? Now she was going to be in a country she knew nothing about and she didn't know if she would ever have the chance to get married again. But she just had to remember God had a plan for all of them, and this just happen to be her's.
Again the look that her brother was giving her was one that was tearing at her greatly, yet it did little good at stopping the anger she felt. At some point she was going to have to talk to him about what happen. What he did to get the whole family killed... What was he willing to do at the risk of the family lives, or did he even know that he was putting them all at risk?
"Mariella hide in here and do not come out do you understand me? No don't cry love I'll be fine but you need to stay out of sight. I love you so much never forget that....
If felt like no matter what she did those last few words would forever be stuck in her head. And it made her sick to her stomach and her eyes fill up with tears when she thought about them for long. Luckily this time she wasn't allowed to dwell because Duilio had dropped to his knees and she moved down next to him, clapping her hands together and resting them on the bed.
"Well you remember the Lord's Prayer right? Mother use to say it with us every night when we were children." She smiled over at her brother before looking back down at her hands. "It okay if you don't remember you don't have to say it with me, just close your eyes and think of all the things we still have to be thankful for."
Though there seemed to be less and less to be thankful for everyday. But that was not the right way of thinking, so long as they had each other and a chance at making it in America everything would be okay.
"Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen."
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Duilio Rossi
Fresh off the Boat
Forgive us our trespasses.
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Post by Duilio Rossi on Jul 30, 2015 16:26:54 GMT -5
Thankful? He almost could have laughed. What was there to be thankful for? And if God were truly watching over them, if God truly had a plan, if God were just, then why was he alive? Why hadn't he been there, where he needed to be? It could have been so simple. They would have come, busted up the party, dragged him outside and executed him. All would have been well. It would have been fair. Where had God been for all of that? How could it have been God's plan, to kill the others for Duilio's actions?
If God was real, then God was even more of a monster than Duilio was.
But things had not gone properly, and he was alive and all he had was his sister and he would do anything - anything - not to lose her, too. So he watched as she folded her hands, and then he folded his own on top of his thighs and crouched over them and searched his memory for the words. They were rusty and old, they came to him through a fog of tarnished memory, but they were there.
"Our Father, who art in Heaven ... hallowed be thy name."
Curséd be thy name.
"Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done ... on Earth as it is in Heaven."
Wetness on his face.
"Give us this day our daily bread - "
Diamonds heavy in his pocket.
"And - and forgive us - forgive us our trespasses, as we - "
His family dead on the floor, drowned in their own blood. Duilio gasped.
"Forgive us our - forgive us - "
Who was he fooling? Not even himself. He was besmirched. He was a foul, dead, evil thing.
And there it was. Everything he had tried not to show his sister came pouring out of him. He opened his hands, dropped his head into them, folded his chest over his knees as the weeping overtook him once again - every day, every minute, agony -
"Forgive me - "
His shoulders heaved as he folded under the shame and the guilt and the fear.
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Post by Mariella Rossi on Jul 30, 2015 21:16:42 GMT -5
The Lord's Prayer always brought comfort to her, she could still remember exactly what would happen every night before she said it when she was a child. After pulling on her nightgown her mother would pick her up and take her into her father's office with Duilio in tow, he would kiss them both goodnight and some nights he would even give them a sweet before bed. Of course that was always much to the dismay of her mother. Then she would take them back into their room and they would all sit on her bed and say their prayers before saying goodnight to everyone important in their lives.
Such a simple time, such a lovely time. Such a time that she would give anything to go back to and stay there forever.
The young woman crossed herself but before she could open her eyes she heard the broken sobs of her brother. And sure enough as she opened her eyes, there he was on the ground with his head in his hand crying. She had never seen him cry ever, even when they were children and he had fallen out of that tree and twisted his arm he did not cry. He always told her that men do not cry, and yet here he was. She supposed any man would have cried if in his position, it was a very hard load to bare.
Ella inhaled and moved down next to him, gently kissing his head before holding both his hands. There wasn't much she could say because she herself didn't believe that it would ever really be okay again but she wanted to stop her brother heartbreak and let him know that she was here for him. "Shush now... I am still here. And you know... We are tough. We are Rossi's and we are fighter like papa use to say." Another small smile and then a knock on the door. Ella stood up and open it and it was a porter telling them they were a hour out of new york city. He spoke in english so she knew her brother would be able to understand. With a nod she closed the door.
"We are almost at New York... Perhaps I should get changed now before we meet Mr Antonucchi."
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Duilio Rossi
Fresh off the Boat
Forgive us our trespasses.
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Post by Duilio Rossi on Jul 30, 2015 22:24:41 GMT -5
He wished he could be comforted by her kiss against his hair, by her hands reaching for his and squeezing. He wanted so badly for these things to be able to wipe away the horror. He'd spent the past week wishing for these things because he'd thought they might be magical somehow, might be able to obliterate his desperate pain. Now he knew that they couldn't. Nothing would ever lift this burden from his shoulders. He would spend the rest of his pathetic, wasted life feeling guilty, seeking absolution that he would never find.
No, God wasn't out there. Only people.
He did his best to rein in the sobs, feeling humiliated by them, wanting now only to escape this room and the gaze of his twin. Fortunately, there was a knock on the door and a brief conversation, of which he understood very little. He was lucky to have a traveling companion who could speak English.
Ella explained, and Duilio nodded, rubbing at his eyes as he got shakily back to his feet. He couldn't look at her; he stared instead at the floor. "Yes ... all right ... I will be nearby when you need me to come gather your things." With an awkward half-wave gesture, he was out the door, closing it behind him before taking a moment to look down at his own outfit: brown trousers and an off-white linen shirt with blood around the cuffs. The same clothes he had worn when he arrived home on that fateful day. At the moment, he had nothing else.
Duilio made his way to the ship's railing and lit a cigarette, smoking as he wondered what exactly awaited them in America.
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Post by Mariella Rossi on Jul 30, 2015 23:23:01 GMT -5
She helped her brother get back to his feet, and with one last squeeze to his hands and a kiss to his cheek he had gone. Leaving her to get ready to cross the shore of America. Mariella knew this was a important moment in his life, she had to impress whoever it was they were meeting. She had to show that she was a proper woman who was willing to do exactly what was asked of her and play the part. No way she would let any man see her grieving or broken down or less of the woman than she knew herself to be.
Sure she didn't want to be getting all dressed, hair and makeup and a dress but she knew she needed to do this. Ella was not a dumb girl she knew that she had to play the game as well. And right now, she very well might be the best asset. She could be married off and that is how they could earn their keep, not to mention she can speak english where Duilio can't.
So once she was all put together and her coat was pulled on she moved to the top deck. She found Duilio shortly after and moved to stand next to him, her hand slipping into his as she watched the shore line get closer and close to their new home. "America... it's beautiful no?" She said softly. Well she supposed it was beautiful for America....
But it was nothing like home, nothing will ever be like home again.
"Enzo Antonucchi right?" She just wanted to go in knowing exactly who she was dealing with. She wanted to be ready for whatever comes to ahead. This was their last chance to make a good future from the ruins of their past.
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