|
|
Post by Pietro Antonucchi on Jul 11, 2015 17:54:06 GMT -5
He'd thought he had hit rock bottom but, no, here was a lower place.
"You were too good," River said to him. "Too good for everyone."
So much guilt. So many little moments that now seemed sinister.
Oh, Pietro darling, you're so good. You're Mommy's good little boy.
Pietro darling, I went shopping and brought home a treat for you.
Look what Pietro did! Isn't he special? Isn't he brilliant?
OBLIVIATE!
What could he have done differently? How could he have changed this terrible truth? Why River? Why not Pietro? They were the same ... together from the moment of conception ... together every day since ... his infuriating, beloved twin ...
"I needed you, River," Pietro finally choked out. "I always did. I always will. I always wondered why ... why I couldn't ... make you listen, or make you talk, or ... good God, I want to ... I want to ... "
I want to kill her.
I want to kill all of them.
I want to kill myself.
Suddenly, Pietro lifted his head and wrapped his arms around River, not caring that hugging wasn't a thing they did. Damn it, he needed to hug his brother.
|
|
|
|
Post by River Antonucchi on Jul 11, 2015 19:46:37 GMT -5
River knew what he wanted to do to their mother exactly. Kill, maim, torture... whatever word that was terrible and could fit. He could only sigh at his brother. Pietro didn't need him, he could handle the world's problems on his shoulders, he had strength of a hundred men, he didn't need anyone. But everyone needed him, even River. He was everyone's guy, everyone wanted him, wanted to be him, everyone loved him. Everyone.
But right now he wasn't the man everyone sees him to be. He was Pietro right now, his brother, his twin. Only River could see this side of him only shown to his twin, well... maybe someone else did too (Serafina) but as a twin... They were as close as humanly possible. But oh was Pietro so lucky he had someone else to love him, in fact, he had everyone. Everyone loved him. So, so, so much.
River wanted that so much, the only thing he wanted was to be loved.
But monsters can't be loved, they are hated, they deserve to be hated.
But then...
River widened his eyes and looked at his brother. A hug... It wasn't something they did, or was it something River had often.
He shakily moved his arms to wrap around his brother, closing his eyes and letting Pietro give him a hug. It felt strange, but strange was good. This was very good.
|
|
|
|
Post by Pietro Antonucchi on Jul 11, 2015 21:23:54 GMT -5
Pietro felt ashamed of his weakness, of his ignorance, of his foolish, childish bliss. He felt ashamed of being useless, ashamed of the fact that he couldn't handle this new knowledge. River was stronger. River hadn't broken. And what of Pietro? Well ... he felt completely broken in this moment.
He grabbed his brother more tightly, hanging on for dear life.
"I need you, River. I am not the strong person that you say I am. Just look ... fucking weak and pathetic and ... forever wanting to talk to my brother. And I can't ... I can't handle this because I love you too much."
He managed to tear himself away, then, wiping at his face even though tears continued to flow. Pietro stared into River's eyes, and his own were hard despite the wetness in them.
"I am going to kill her. I have discussed it with Uncle Enzo. I am going to torture her, and I am going to kill her, and I would like it if you helped."
|
|
|
|
Post by River Antonucchi on Jul 11, 2015 22:16:17 GMT -5
He wanted to tell him that he was wrong, that he was stronger. He was, because he bared the world on his shoulders being the Antonucchi heir. Pietro was strong for being who he was. Even as he broke down in front of him. River found the slightest humanity in himself that he found, and he held his brother tightly. He held him as he continued to put himself down. If they were younger, River would have cried with him, for his innocence was still there, his humanity still there. But he couldn't, all the tears were shed before, he ran out. He was dry. His eyes were all emptied up. On second thought...
He said he loved him.
River parted his lips, not knowing what to say.
He was loved.
A tear would have run down his cheek if he had anymore tears in him.
He furrowed his brows as Pietro tore away from him, looking at him in confusion... Killing their mother? "I never asked her to be killed, but if that's your choice... I don't think it would do anything now," he told his brother honestly. River wouldn't feel better for her death because it was the coward's way out. He wouldn't feel elated killing his mother, mostly because the past was the past. He didn't forgive her, no. He deserved all those things she had done. But he bet his balls none of them would feel the closure that they needed.
He was loved, he had been waiting for that his entire life. The words 'I love you' in the deepest and most genuine way. It took a while for him to register the longed words. He had never felt anymore happier than then, because he knew he was loved. He was finally given something he had most longed for in the most desperate way. River wanted someone who'd love him, just about enough to want him around, not much. But the feeling, it was so amazing. And to think he was deprived of the words... River had something worth his life knowing he was loved enough. It wasn't much love he was asking for. But Pietro's was enough to keep him going.
|
|
|
|
Post by Pietro Antonucchi on Jul 12, 2015 19:59:47 GMT -5
Of course River didn't think it would solve anything. All of this was in the past for him. For Pietro, on the other hand, it was all very current: the discovery of how desperately he had failed his brother. Pietro was a man of action, and he needed to act on this information.
He nodded, never breaking their locked gaze.
"It will do something for me. How can I live with myself knowing that I never did anything to help you? How can I face myself in the mirror, feeling worthless? Feeling that I failed you? This is the one thing I can do to try and make up for what happened to you, and it will not alleviate all of my guilt, but ... "
He shrugged, finally looking away, letting his gaze drop down to his shoes.
" ... but at least it's something. At least ... well, you don't have to come if you do not wish it. But, mark my words, her days are numbered."
At least it's something. At least it's something.
God, how I wish I had never been born. How I wish River had not been burdened with a twin.
Just imagine ... one live, one stillborn ... and River could have had the life Pietro had enjoyed.
|
|
|
|
Post by River Antonucchi on Jul 12, 2015 20:40:16 GMT -5
River looked sadly, Pietro had to resort to taking a like to feel better, oh how sad. But River can't say anything about that, given that he finds pleasure in hurting. He looked down, feeling that tug in his heart again. Guilt, probably. Was this what it was? Yeah, it was. It felt awful, very awful. Was this normal? It shouldn't be, not at all, he felt it tug at the strings of his heart, eating away what seems to be his feelings. This was new, very new to him. River never felt guilt, but now that he revealed all his pain to his brother, he made him feel... Sad.
"You won't make anyone happy, River! Never!"
"Come on, River... Its not like Pietro would mind if I steal you for a little bit... he has other and better friends to play with right now."
"River, the only thing you're ever going to be good for is to work in the family business."
"Don't you see Pietro is better than you? Nobody wants you when we have Pietro, River."
"Oh River, honey, you're just about the deadest weight in this family..."
All those he lived through, and still... He didn't ask for his mother's head. He didn't know how if it would make it up to him, but Pietro was set on killing their mother, it wasn't for River, it was for Pietro. The whole killing thing, it was to calm Pietro and assure himself, to make himself feel better. It wasn't really for River... and he found himself being totally okay with that.
|
|
